PTSD
by Emoeverafter
Summary: Bella has a past that is just resurfacing; Edward's present is drowning him. Together, can they create a future where there is only a peaceful stream? Or will they come to a waterfall? Rated M for drug/ alcohol abuse, cutting, and future lemons


Summary- Bella has a past that is just resurfacing; Edward's present is drowning him. Together, can they create a future where there is only a peaceful stream? Or will they come to a waterfall? Rated M for drug/ alcohol abuse, cutting, and future lemons.

Chapter 1- Coming home to Hell

Bella's POV

The house is exactly the same as it was fifteen years ago. Not a thing has changed; I even have the same purple comforter on my bed in my room. Then again, the entire town of Forks hasn't changed from what I've been told. I left this damn town when I was two, so how would I know? I don't even remember yesterday, so I couldn't possibly remember something that happened fifteen fucking years ago, right?

Then tell me why I was sitting up in bed, gasping for air after a nightmare that seemed so real, it's almost as if it had actually happened to me.

_In the dream_

I was two and in my room, just starting to drift to sleep when all of a sudden I heard yelling then a glass breaking. I got up out of my bed and walked downstairs, slowly and quietly. I wasn't even horrified but what I saw next, it seemed to me that it was normal.

Renee, my mother, was on her hands and knees in the kitchen picking up the broken glass and crying. The whole time Charlie, my father, was shouting obscenities at her and kicking her.

I groaned and fell back against the bed. There's no way my mother would send me to some abusive man. I had to trust the selfish bitch at least that much. Then again, she did only send me here because I was becoming too much of a burden for her and her new husband, Phil. She said I had too many "needs" and I had too much of an "emotional attachment" to her. Then she began to complain that I was only looking for attention and that I would be better off living in a smaller town with no friends and no familiarity.

Oh well. I had a method of dealing with this. I smirked slightly to myself as I thought of the adrenaline rush I would get from doing this. The pain, the feeling… all from that tiny little blade, at least my razor blade loved me like my mother never could.

For a moment I just stared at the blade in my hand, watching it glint in the faint moonlight. Then I took it with a steady hand and dug it into my wrist, watching the blood rise, following the blade.

I did two that night, one for my mom and one for the dream. I lay in my bed, falling asleep to thoughts of what the kids would think of my arms covered in scars tomorrow.

My first day at school was pretty much uneventful. I was the talk of the school, of course, but before lunch only one person actually made an effort to talk to me. She was short and petite with spiky black hair. She reminded me of a pixie. "Hi, Isabella! I'm Alice and it's so nice to meet you!" She grinned when she met me and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I could literally feel the energy coming off of this girl and I couldn't help but give a small smile back.

"Hello, Alice. And not to be rude or anything, but I hate the name 'Isabella' so can you please call me Bella?" She nodded enthusiastically and introduced me to the man she was with who apparently was her boyfriend, Jasper.

"Hey, Bella, would you like to sit with us at lunch?" Alice asked once the introduction was over. I politely thanked her but declined. There was no way in hell I would sit in a giant room full of teens that just stared at me like I was from another planet.

When lunch finally rolled around, I went in the opposite direction of the crowd and walked out the front doors. My feet carried me to the back of the school, picking up the smell of something illegal and delicious. Sure enough, I found a boy all alone against the back wall of the school, smoking a joint. I grinned and walked up to him, noticing the beer he had next to him.

"How much skin do I have to show to get a drag of that and a sip of this?" I smirked and he looked up. His eyes trailed over my body and he met me with his own smirk.

"No skin, Isabella, just a lap dance." He winked spreading his legs out long. I giggled and straddled him, taking a swig of his beer.

"It's Bella. What's your name, my new favorite person?" I smiled, stealing his weed and taking a drag and rolling my hips a bit.

He chuckled, placing his hands on my hips to stop me. "I was kidding, Bella. And I'm Edward."

"Damn… and I was hoping to get a three-in-one." I sighed, smirking as I got off his lap.

"Three-in-one?"

"Beer, weed, and sex. Yummy, the perfect first day remedy."

He laughed and I leaned on his shoulder. "Come on, it's not that bad here."

"Oh, yeah. Cause everyone likes to be stared at like a piece of meat on their first day, then treated as an outcast…" I mumbled, but he wasn't paying attention to my words, he was staring at my arms, tracing the scars there lightly, spending a lot of time one my fresh ones. "Please don't…" I started, tears welling in my eyes. For some reason, I didn't want to chase him away with these. "Please don't leave now, because of these."

He looked into my eyes for a long moment. "I won't," he whispered, breaking the silence. "Just tell me why."

"No." I clenched my fists together. He nodded slowly and took another drag.

"Alright." He nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. " By the way, we can be outcasts together." He winked and I laughed, downing the rest of his beer. Maybe this town isn't so bad after all.

A/N: bad start, don't you think? Either way, let me know!


End file.
